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It may be true that in today’s day and age, we’re more digitally enabled and culturally transparent about casual sex than ever before, but actually finding casual sex partners still seems like the elusive Holy Grail of online dating sites.
Finding Casual Sex Partners
Sure, you know where to go when looking for a no-strings attached interaction – think Adult Friend Finder, GetItON, Passion and many more – but simply logging onto one of these self-proclaimed hookup sites hardly ensures your sexual needs will be met.
As frustrating as it may be, the irony can’t be ignored: You’re seeking nothing more than a straightforward, hassle-free sexual engagement (a one-night stand, say), yet getting such an arrangement is the biggest tease of all, and far from easy, no matter what you try.
It’s not that there aren’t interested women out there. After all, not everyone is looking for a long-term relationship. In fact, millions of attractive, diverse, interested singles (yes, single women!) are on hookup sites at this very moment, but simply putting up a profile and browsing aren’t enough. You still have to interact, show interest, exchange information, and participate in a conversation.
Furthermore, thanks to the pseudo anonymous couples seeking men invisibility cloak people often put on when interfacing through digital screens, users are much more likely to feel comfortable signaling interest in casual encounters and casual hookups online, even if they don’t actually plan to follow through with the act. That goes doubly for women, who are often shamed for expressing interest in casual sex in person, but might be more comfortable finding potential partners online or on an app . which raises another question: What exactly is casual sex?
What Is Casual Sex?
The phrase “casual sex” (or the concept thereof) gets tossed around a fair amount online. Perhaps you’ve seen ads promising “singles near you” looking for “no-strings attached action”?
The idea is always similar: Everyone’s horny, and full-on relationships are complicated. Both of which – despite what the pessimists out there would have you believe – are pretty true.
But what is casual sex, exactly? Where is the line between casual sex and its opposite – serious sex, one supposes? And where did it come from? Let’s break it all down.
During the 20th century, if you were having sex and not directly paying for it, it was likely within the context of a monogamous romantic relationship. In fact, it was likely within the context of a marriage.
But as social mores evolved during the ‘60s and onward – largely in concert with the rise of feminism and the diminishing role of the church in public life – pre-marital sex started seeming like less of a horrifyingly bad idea and more of a fun time for all parties involved … and casual sex was born, so to speak.
What really kicked it into overdrive, however, were the popularization of cheap and reliable forms of birth control like condoms, hormonal birth control and IUDS, and the increasing role of the internet in our dating lives.
Now, not only can you have great sex without necessarily worrying about causing a pregnancy, you can also find someone to sleep with fairly easily using the internet. Without a widespread social taboo surrounding casual sex, you can make all that happen without worrying about what your friends will think, too.
It’s worth noting there are lots of benefits associated with casual sex. For starters, you can, well, have sex without putting in a ton of effort. With sexual pleasure as your guide, you can have multiple partners as you can schedule, coming and going as you please. You’re not really bound by any of the rules or codes we associate with actual relationships.